


Please, Don't Eat Me

by blueberry01120



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, College Student Peter Parker, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Kid Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Endgame, Protective Loki (Marvel), Protective Peter Parker, Resurrection, Secret Relationship, Thor aimed for the head
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberry01120/pseuds/blueberry01120
Summary: Next to actually becoming Spider-man and fighting a big purple alien on another planet, his boyfriend being the 900-something-but-pretty-much-19 year old brother of his, like, idol and sometimes Avengers teammate Thor, who oh, was brought back to life after dying like 50 times is probably the craziest thing that's happened in Peter's life.Knocking on wood. Because Peter doesn't need to encourage his life to get any crazier. Loki's already on top of that. And him somehow.
Relationships: Loki/Peter Parker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	1. What does Peter have to do? Drum on the ground?

**Author's Note:**

> And me forcing myself to post WNIPs (works no longer in progress but I pretend to myself are WIPs because I'm a story hoarder) continues. Here's some Peterki. I love some Peterki. 
> 
> Background: When Thor took the Infinity Gauntlet off of Thanos' headless body, he brought back Loki the last time Thor remembered them being on good terms, which 500 years ago, and well, Asgardian aging means that was a teen Loki, and now, teen Loki's around.

In Peter's defense, it was Loki that started it.

He would've been happy secretly staring at Loki with his mask on and maybe replaying how his suit fit perfectly when he was having some quality alone time, but then, Loki had cornered him in some warehouse during a solo mission that had actually been Peter's idea, and Loki with the eyes and the lips, and how was Peter supposed to remember that oh, right, the invincible alien god king was Loki's older brother? Ask him to scale the Burj Khalifa or grapple web onto a helicopter, fine, but that? Even Peter had limits, which Loki was fully aware of, probably counting on.

Loki said that he liked Peter's "indomitable will" which after the Venom deal was debatable — and Loki had said that Venom going psycho ex on Peter was "the greatest flattery short of his" which also, debatable. Peter had some doubts about that since one walk of Loki's fingers up Peter's thigh during a briefing was all it took for him to disregard the plan to minimize one-on-one time with Loki — which in all fairness would've been impossible in the sample fridge that Peter was committing 50 different scientific sins in by screwing Loki in it. And judging by the XXX-rated things Loki fed into his ear each time, it was a major thing for him, how much Peter wanted him, kind of against the whole Peter being strong and that being a point of attraction for Loki deal.

You would've thought he'd have stopped angsting over why Loki was riding him on his desk chair because you know, Loki was riding him on his desk chair. Or sucking out half of the brain cells he'd missed the last time in some space between bookshelves in the library like Loki really liked to do ("Books and a boy, what more could I ask for?") But Thor was talking about queens, and Loki wasn't throwing out people like Peter. Those were empresses of galactic empires and heiresses to like alien Rockefellers, and he kept pointing out that Thor could do better than galactic empresses and quintillionaires like, Peter didn't know, he didn't see as good enough for even him.

Actions, words, he got it. Loki was the God of Lies. Why would this be any different?

It was. Loki’s situation was like Captain Rogers’ on steroids, waking up a thousand years into the future on a totally different planet. People did strange things under stress. Peter might've been that strange thing. Wasn't Loki for him?

Forget the guy thing. Loki was... Loki. He wasn't the Loki that'd gotten Peter evacuated from school in the middle of a math test, but that Loki had been him, once, kind of. Now, not so much. But Loki was a prince and an alien one at that, and Peter had committed to the idea that his Peter side would be as regular as it'd been before the bite, but Loki, he was laying in Peter's bed when he woke up sometimes.

He was taking Peter out to lunch at places that his wallet covered his eyes passing when Peter skipped a meal to study for a test a late incident had stopped him from the night before and paying for it because endless Asgardian credit and "I won't give you leverage by allowing you to pay for most meals," not that Peter minded or noticed till Loki brought it up. Loki proofread his terrible papers in Peter's chemistry pun tees while complaining about life at Oxford, pulled them off and magicked himself into his costume when Peter's watch went off to go help him take care of a bank heist.

Loki knitted the tears in his suit because time Peter spent fixing it was time taken away from "tending" to Loki, and he held Peter down and healed the gashes and breaks that his healing factor hadn't gotten around to and made Peter do the "no-touching" thing.

He wanted to ask someone what it meant. He asked Aunt May (she'd walked in when he was visiting home with Loki, and it was the Spider-Man suit all over again.) She said that Loki was in love with him "too," and Peter should've denied that because it wasn't true, but.

He'd never been good at lying to Aunt May.

But Loki in love with him? Loki was like the stereotypical idea of a cat. He scratched (sometimes but in a good way) and it was a relationship one new dog away from being ruined. Asking Loki about the mechanics of this was bringing home that super likable Goldie. Maybe there was a chance they'd get along, but there was a bigger, likelier chance that Loki would've stopped popping into Peter's dorm or wrapping an arm around his neck to swing with him.

If Thor asked like Peter could've sworn he was going to one of these times they joined up with them laughing their asses off though, Peter wasn't sure what Loki would tell him.

All Peter knew for sure was he wasn't actively looking for anyone, and when he got asked out, he politely gave a "no thanks."

Loki’d ask, “Are you going to give her your number?” like now, not giving Peter a lot to go on since they’d been talking about a, from what Peter understood, male philosophy professor that was in addition to being kind of a dick – not to Loki though surprise, surprise – way over in England. And he was talking about the waitress. It’d been the guy behind the counter at the pastry shop last time. But Loki meant the waitress, and Peter got out through his teeth, “Um, I didn’t have any plans on it?” instead of, “No, because I kind of, sort of carved my heart out of my chest and handcuffed it to you if you haven’t noticed.”

Loki pretended like this was news, and in case Peter wasn’t clear, he told him, “If I seem like it, that's probably me trying to not say 'you too' when she says 'enjoy your meal.'"

"That's unfortunate. It's funny when you do that."

"Not for me when I remember it at 2 am next week." His 2 ams were reserved for the million different scenarios where after Loki said something like, “Poor Peter. I’d be there to comfort the woes of your awkward existence,” he’d casually slip in, “Hey, but how about for, like ever?” And instead of popping out of Peter’s room never to be seen again, Loki smiled like he did when Peter set straight some wise guy pigeon in front of them taking his sweet time across the crosswalk or shed one of those really gorgeous Old Hollywood tears like after Shadow showed up at the end of Homeward Bound. A pipe dream, Peter knew, but Peter’d never been anything but a dreamer.

He was thinking it might’ve been what Loki really liked about him.


	2. Peter can build a mean web, alright?

Loki had a 95/5 ratio of not showing to showing up to the full team summons. Peter proudly had a role in like 3.5% of that while Thor flat-out physically dragging Loki along with him had the rest, but Peter’s 3.5% was like a 40% personal success rate he couldn’t figure out the correlation of. Sometimes, all it took was asking. Other times, Loki’d be following right behind him putting on the clothes they’d just taken off.

Doing good was just not enough for some people.

When Ultron 9 spiced up Peter’s nightly patrol attacking during Saint Patty’s day weekend, Peter wasn’t holding on for Loki to come join the team huddle on the top of the Empire State building. Thor looked at him during Cap’s battle plan, silently asking if he knew where Loki was like he always did, and Peter just shrugged.

The problem with fighting bad guys that were super-intelligent robots made out indestructible metal alloys was they didn’t feel pain for them to throw their hands up and surrender after a few hits like a guy robbing a bank, and they didn’t have soft spots to aim for, just hard spots, hard spots everywhere, and they had momentum too. Peter’s bones were just loving the recoil of a punch to an Ultron’s head. Just thriving.

The Ultron bot in front of him had a fist aimed right at his head, and he had time to do a swivel out of place, but then he’d be getting a dropkick from the Ultron diving out of the sky, and punch, dropkick, punch, dropkick, dilemmas.

Golden sparklies started spreading from Ultron’s fist back over his arm. Peter let them do their thing, and when he should’ve gotten his bell rung, it was Ultron confetti.

His someone behind him sense was tingling.

“’Superfast reflexes,’ they say,” said Loki the Asgardian Pimp which he totally was in the fur-trimmed coat and the horn crown. He made a fist, and something that was probably that Ultron that didn’t dive bomb Peter exploded.

“Compared to non-robot people.”

“Loki, is that Loki?” Thor shouted right into Peter’s eardrum. And that was with Tony’s volume leveling in the comms.

“No, it’s a mirage of a being that looks identical to me,” Loki said, but Thor didn’t hear that, so Peter clarified, “Yeah, Loki’s here.”

“We can use all the help we can get,” said Cap. “Loki, if you could—“

And that was Loki’s cue to stop listening in on Peter’s comm. Peter’d never been a fan of Cap’s haranguing about strategy, and with Loki, he had the excuse that yeah, wasn’t the most ethical but Loki was the God of Chaos and Mischief, and Spider-man was just some kid who could hit hard and stick to stuff, and he couldn’t help but get swept up in Loki improvising ways to destroy Ultron, and he was just handling the civilian protection that Loki still frustratingly couldn’t be bothered with given the circumstances, more like lack of any.

Peter scaled up onto a roof, and Loki was popping in a few steps away to explode the Ultrons Peter webbed out of the sky, dropped some from the sky in his sparkly gold magic ropes that Peter bruise his bones kicking limbs and heads off of. Loki deflected the laser blasts from the both of them so Peter didn’t need to chance ducking away and into the Ultrons going kamikaze pilot on the rooftops they were on. The city’s scrappers were about to hit the jackpot with all the metal pieces Ultron was freely giving away.

Loki had his hands up like it was Sunday service (and now that had been a long time ago, the last time he’d gone to church. Uncle Ben…) and one of those grins that poured warm honey into Peter’s chest and said big trouble for anyone that got in the way of him keeping it.

“I think I’m getting a hang of this fighting robots—“

About a second from his head, an orb, no, a grenade hung out with the cracks in its shell glowing purple with whatever explosive Ultron stuffed them with. That was gonna do a lot of damage.

It got to doing that thing grenades liked to do, exploding, but an alleyway interrupted its plans. No grenade in sight, just hey, Tony in the suit zipping by with half an Ultron dangling from his arms.

“Are you stupid?” Loki was also in this alleyway. When he took a step, it was sort of a stumble but he recovered to start stalking toward Peter with a demeanor that Peter felt like his Spidey-sense should’ve not been quiet about.

“I — sorry. I was distracted.”

“Distracted?” Loki got as close as the barriers of their material bodies would let him, the tip of his nose on the slope of Peter’s but eyes somehow not cross-eyed while he stared like Peter didn’t have the mask on. “Do you know how long it would’ve taken me to heal you? That ingrate Ultron uses—”

“—organic matter dissolving substances. I know.”

“Then, what use is that knowledge if you don’t consider it?”

“You were here. You teleported me away in time. That’s the point of having each other’s backs, not holding ‘what if’s over each other’s heads. I saved you a few times too.”

Peter’s hands had this habit of not knowing what to do when Loki was in arm’s range, sometimes when he was just in the same room or “around” period. Nothing really helped except touching Loki wherever was closest. That happened to be his sides of his thighs, and once he was there it was like why not feel around a little more? It didn’t hurt anybody. Probably opposite of hurt.

This seemed like a good time to kiss Loki while he was at it, right?

His fingers were under his mask when the person kneeling on the edge of the rooftops above them let Peter’s eyes know they were there.

“Sargent Barnes,” he called as he super casually removed his hand from Loki’s ass and the ditched taking his mask off which he wasn’t about to do or anything.

Sargent Barnes hopped down onto the dumpster and then onto the pavement. Super-soldier or not, those poor, poor knees. “Hard at work.”

“We did more than our fair share,” Loki said. He had his arms crossed and was kind of leaning against Peter, not that Peter minded, no, but he had to knot his hands behind his back to resist the urge to touch.

Sargent Barnes’ goggles were dark, but Peter could see through them, the pinched up corners of his eyes like he’d caught them sticking their fingers in Cap’s apple pies during his century-long cooling periods.

Loki’d said if anyone would call them out though, Sargent Barnes would be only after Cap. Allegedly, Cap and Sargent Barnes were, like, a thing and were keeping that low key, and wouldn’t risk Loki telling everybody in retaliation which would be a total dick move that Peter couldn’t get behind.

The Quinjet met them at an intersection a block ahead. This was the part Loki’d stop at the walkway and tell Peter that it was cool fighting with him and ignore anyone else on board and teleport away before Thor got there. But he came on beside Peter. It was less him sitting and more of the seat next to Peter’s usual spot catching him.

Teleportation was like Jedi lightning. The type of concentration it needed — doing it spontaneously couldn’t have been easy. But Loki had and for him. Loki wouldn’t even non-magically hand someone something on a table next to him.

“Brother, this is a pleasant surprise.” Thor was giving Peter the credit for that, smiling at him when Thor nodded his head at Peter. “I trust you enjoyed the opportunity to rain chaos down on this city.”

“It was occupying.” Loki needed a hug, a hug and a cuddle and some of that awful tea he liked in the Mjölnir (rest in peace) mug Peter got him. And he’d get all of that.

Cap was hosting a meal for the team, but Peter had work — he was in college. He probably did have some work he was forgetting — so he took a rain check. He went up to Loki passively listening to Thor, arms crossed around himself, and asked in his ear, “Walk me out?” When Loki left Thor mid-sentence, Peter got ahead of any of Thor feeling offended by flashing him thumbs up and telling him that he’d see him around.

Spider-Man told the driver of the cab he pestered Loki into an address, his address, not that the cabby knew that, just that he said, “Get him home for me, you hear?”

Loki was opening the front door when Peter got in through that window between his bedroom and the kitchen. The bruises that’d gotten tired of holding back were not on board with Peter smashing the world record for how fast a person had put water on the stove, pop tarts in the toaster, and intercepted someone.

“I’m sorry” was going to be his favorite word today. He repeated that without words this time, used his lips, holding back the tongue because come on, Parker. He’d just teleported him away from melting his face off. Sex could wait. “Go relax. Give me a second.”

Loki would’ve hesitated a few years ago, but he was already turned around headed for the bedroom. He wasn’t in there but the bathroom or his arms and legs dangling over the rim of the tub were. But Loki’s heartbeat was steady, leisurely was how Peter’d always thought of it.

He placed the mug and plate on the ground, and look at that. The god had accepted Peter’s offering and come out from hiding, water cascading from Loki’s hair and trickling from his eyelashes and the tip of his nose.

And over his smirking lips.

Peter used to be embarrassed when he was caught staring. Used to be.

Loki reached down and nabbed a Pop Tart. Cherry, the best Pop Tart despite what Thor claimed. They were all wrong sometimes. “Peter.”

“Hm?”

“I think I will be very upset if you die.”

“Uh. I’ll be really upset if you do too. I was actually really worried you might, you know, with your history. I know, that was older you, but I don’t know.”

“Based on the last time, I have around 500 years before I start regularly dying. You shouldn’t worry about it anytime soon.”

“Well, that’s good to know. But I don’t plan on dying anytime either. Today, I would’ve probably been out of commission for a few painful weeks, but I wouldn’t have died. My Spidey sense isn’t too hot on near-death experiences.”

He used to have dreams about it, the feeling that “oh, I’m dying” when he was buried in that rubble going after Toomes. He’d won. No more Toomes. Problem solved, right? Dreams should’ve gone away. Then, Loki’d started keeping him up so late that when he slept, he didn’t dream at all.

He was getting up. “Enjoy your bath.”

“Wait.” Loki’s freezing wet hand had his wrist. “Stay.”

Okay. He could do that. He leaned against the edge of the bath which gave him confirmation that Loki still did, somehow, look like that naked.

“After I’ve enjoyed the cold water, I’ll warm it, and you can join me.” Loki’s knuckles left wet smears on Peter’s cheek. “Hand me the tea since you’re down there.”

“Are you sure this isn’t why I’m staying?”

“Maybe partially.”

He watched Loki drink out of that shiny silver mug and polish off four pop tarts to the sounds of his body working its magic.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3siewAK-r4I


End file.
